The immovable brick wall of stupidity

Gustave Flaubert once said: "Stupidity is something immovable; you can't try to attack it without being broken by it." This is sound advice. This week, Rebecca Wilson came out with yet another anti-football article, this time bleating about the $45-odd million the Federal Government has pumped into the World Cup bid. There are, of course, plenty of sensible arguments against spending such a large amount of money on a sporting event. The problem with Wilson's article is that her arguments demonstrate a (deliberate?) ignorance of the issues at play, and stem instead from an emotional reaction informed by her own obvious dislike of football, the "terrible A-League", and its "fanatical fans".

Thus, I will not get angry - I will yield like a reed in a rapidly-flowing stream, recognising the immovable stupidity of trying to compare a bid for the World Cup with sports like swimming and Rugby League. The difference, of course, is that the World Cup cash promise is not just 'sports funding' - it's a well-thought-out political move to bring the biggest event in the world to Australia. It's our country flexing its muscles in the same way that it did when bidding for the 2000 Olympics. It's an exercise designed to increase Australia's international soft power standings, whether successful or not, and the economy will receive a huge boost if we actually host it. It's a win for the FFA and a considered gamble by the Federal Government. In all likelihood, if this $45 million was not going towards the World Cup bid, it probably wouldn't be spent on sport at all. It's not an either/or proposition.

I'm not angered by the fact that she is complaining about football's relative gains when other sports are missing out on the gravy train. Why? Because, to put it simply, it's an idiotic argument. Football is the most popular participation sport in Australia, by far, and is played by males and females of all ages and backgrounds. For years it has been the ugly sister, missing out while millions have been ploughed into the more fashionable cricket, Aussie Rules, and the Rugbies, as well as Olympic sports like swimming and rowing. Now it's time for a bit of equity, bitches. Why shouldn't football get more than other sports?

I can sense some righteous outrage building in my liver at the moment so I will move onto another point: her decrying of the fact that money will be spent on schmoozing FIFA bosses and other football bigwigs. Well, how else are we going to get the frigging thing? As if Australia didn't do exactly the same thing when bidding for the Sydney Games (and in fact a lot more than that: the words 'Olympics', 'Sydney', 'IOC' and 'corruption' make for an interesting Google search). Does Wilson complain about money being spent on the Olympics? Of course not. Would she rather see the World Cup bid money be put into Rugby League, a sport that is more or less unknown outside NSW and Queensland, the bulk of whose income is sourced from the wallets of pensioners and single mothers through poker machines, and whose 'World Cup' final failed to attract enough interest to fill Suncorp Stadium? Obviously, yes. Maybe I'm being unfair to Rugby League, though: its 'Rapists of Tomorrow' program for juniors has clearly been a successful initiative.

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At this point I feel like I'm angrily beating my head against the immovable brick wall of stupidity, so I'll stop talking about Rebecca Wilson. Let's turn our attention to Geoff Roach's column in yesterday's Advertiser, shall we:

What the hell has Australian soccer done to deserve a $45 million handout from
Santa Rudd's Federal Government?

That one's easy, we've covered that: a) it's decided to bid for the world's biggest sporting event; and b) it's the most popular participant sport in Australia, bar none. Next.

voluminous stomachs of the conga line of lobbyists and power brokers

zzzzzz. Once again, show me another way to get anything done anywhere without anyone powerful getting a free lunch out of it. C'est impossible.

How does the AFL, the SANFL and the other Australian football codes feel about
such booty being thrown to foreigners, marketers, PR companies and other
assorted leeches rather than Australian kids playing the unique Australian game?

Well, if Mr Roach is representative of their opinions, pretty bitchy and borderline xenophobic, I'd say. An interesting exercise would be to count how many times Roach uses the word 'Australian' in the article. A cynical person might think that the use of the term is a deliberate device to paint football as an immoral foreign pastime indulged in by shady foreigners (probably black ones, too!) as opposed to our pure Australian game played by Australian kids. In Australia. Not that I'm accusing Roach of this: he's just a proud Aussie worried about Pies v Hawks having to be played elsewhere when the MCG's playing surface is invaded by a bunch of diving longhaired pansies and the stands are filled with hooligans that would stab you with a sharpened boat flare as soon as look at you.

It's fair to say that I got a bit angry reading Geoff Roach's article, as well. But there are little touches of stupidity in there alongside the fearmongering and implied racism. Calling the Football Federation of Australia 'FA', for example. It's FFA. FFS. If you're going to write something nasty about an organisation, and it's going to get published in a major newspaper, at least do the minimum amount of research to make sure you don't come off looking like an ignorant fool (like, you know, finding out the name of the organisation in question).

I'm not angry about what these people write. They're biased and ignorant, and they're clutching at straws in an effort to undo all the progress that our sport has made. I'm angry that so many people will get to read their stupid articles. And now I'm angry at myself for having spent the past two hours writing about those stupid assholes. Time for a cup of tea I think.

Adelaide 2-1 Waitakere

Waitakare United, a bunch of part-timers from West Auckland, weren't given a chance against Adelaide prior to their opening Club World Cup match in Tokyo. Not surprisingly. They were put to the sword 7-0 by Wellington Phoenix, the team that Adelaide humiliated 6-1 last Friday.

As soon as the match kicked off,though, you could tell it was going to be a strange night for Adelaide. The boys in red looked nervy, and when they weren't looking nervy they were just trudging around the pitch with blank expressions on their face. Waitakare, as could probably be expected, parked their whole team in their defensive half, aiming to smother Adelaide and catch them on the break.

Given the unavailability of Cassio, Diego and Ognenovski, Vidmar had toyed a bit with the starting formation. Rather than the 4-3-3 that worked so well against Phoenix, with Cassio and Dodd acting as wide forwards, it was back to the usual conservative 4-2-3-1, with our very own Dead Ball Specialist TM Kristian Sarkies slotting into the midfield in front of Reid and Barbiero, and Spagnuolo taking Cassio's usual spot on the left wing.

It could have worked if the midfield were a bit more willing to show some endeavour and creativity and work to break down the defense, but no - Adelaide ended up just knocking the ball around a lot, owning possession, then getting impatient and lumping it up to an extremely isolated Cristiano. Or streaming down the wings to put a cross into the box. Both options were dealt with, in general, pretty well by the Waitakere backline, featuring 37 year old ex- NZ Knight, Neil Emblen.

We dominated the match, definitely - the corner count at the end was 19-1, and we had plenty of balls into the box. But, still, the Kiwis scored first, with Paul Seaman knocking it in after Galekovic failed to gather a high ball. Rubbish shit fuck shit. Pretty much straight afterwards Mullen equalised with a nice header off a corner, and Trav got the winner with about 10 minutes to go with a glancing header off a Reid free kick. In Dodd We Trust.

This game, on paper, should have been much easier than this. Complete tripe, really, against a bunch of semi-pros. Waitakere actually had some handy young players - Roy Krishna and Dane Vincent in particular - and an equaliser was definitely not outside the realm of possibility.

Adelaide hung on, but just about every player on the pitch (with the notable exceptions of Jamieson and Mullen) were below average. And I never want to see the Dead Ball Specialist TM in a red shirt ever again. It was ACL away-leg-final-esque, except Waitakere just didn't have the ability and experience to punish us like Gamba did.

Hopefully this game provides enough of a kick in the arse for Adelaide to play well in the next match (Gamba Osaka again, of course) and set up a date with Man U. If we get turned over by those Osaka bastards again, I will weep.

Lowy18 - Yes We Can!

Frank Lowy, like most people in influential positions, splits opinions. You may admire his business acumen, his passion for football and his tendency to throw sacks of his own money into the game. Or you may be wary of his slightly less-than-spotless business history, which includes the odd allegation of corruption, and the conflict of interest that came in his dual role as FFA Chairman and owner of Sydney FC. Or, you could be a raving anti-Semite that thinks that Lowy, like all Jews with money, is behind September 11, the credit crunch, climate change, and teenage pregnancy.

One thing that can't be denied is Lowy's huge influence on the resurgence of Australian football post-Crawford Report. It's hard to imagine that the A-League would have had such an impact were it not for Lowy's vision, investment and guiding hand. Likewise, his presence as a key FFA figure lends enormous weight to Australia's dealings with the wider football world. He's not the richest man in Australia for nothing: he knows how to schmooze and how to cut a good deal.

News came through this week that Frank Lowy has sold his majority stake in Sydney FC to Russian billionaire David Traktovenko, ex-owner of Zenit St. Petersburg, and healthcare magnate Paul Ramsay. Lowy claims that this is an ideal scenario - under Sydney's new ownership they will remain financially secure, Traktovenko and Ramsay will be able to inject new life into the club, and Uncle Frank will be able to devote his time and considerable influence to his other roles within Australian football. Goodbye conflict of interest, hello shady Russian billionaire sugar daddy (now that's not entirely fair: I'm just assuming he's shady by virtue of being a Russian billionaire).

Lowy's a wily old fox, though. What, we were supposed to just think he would slip away from Sydney and just quietly go about his business with the FFA? Of course not. There was something big in the pipeline.

And today, that big thing in the pipeline exposed itself: the Federal Government announced a $46 million commitment to Australia's bid for the 2018 World Cup. Yep, now we're cooking with gas. It's definitely an uphill struggle - we'll be smack in the middle of a new-Cold War wrangle between superpowers like the US, Russia, China and England - but, whatever, Johnny Warren told us so, and who am I to argue with the great man's ghost.

What this pledge means is that the Government really does recognise the importance of football as a political tool and a means through which Australia can project its image to the world. The World Cup is huge, and hosting it would be the biggest thing that has happened in Australia since Donald Bradman came home from Gallipoli and built the Opera House.

Let's hope that this news spurs the SA Government into getting its head out of the sand: $100 million for a few corporate boxes is not going to turn Footy Park into a World Cup-worthy venue. Screw the SANFL (they've been screwing everyone else for years) - Adelaide needs an up-to-date stadium with a rectangular configuration, close to the city, that's worthy of big football matches.

AUFC Chairman Dario Fontanarosa has been talking about the need for a new stadium for a while now. There are rumours that, indeed, the majority of the corporate backing needed for Estadio Dario has been secured. In an ideal world, Adelaide United would be able to build its own 25-30,000 capacity stadium under its own steam, with the Federal & State Governments kicking in the funds to increase it to necessary size for World Cup group matches, should Australia's bid be successful. I'm not holding my breath, but stranger things have happened.

Sick Reds & the Mysterious Mr Tahara

Adelaide United are now in Japan for the Club World Cup and, according to this article, getting sick. Apparently Ognenovski, Cassio and now Jamieson have caught a nasty virus (although I dispute the assertion that Oggy would just 'catch' a virus: he probably gave it a sporting headstart before chasing the bastard down).

The most interesting part of this article, though, is the fact that Adelaide are having a long hard look at Kyoto Sanga FC and former Japan U-21 striker Yutaka Tahara.

All that can be gleaned from this guy's profile on Wikipedia is that he is tall, hairy, scores a goal every four games or so, and plays for the world's second-most awesome team. They're my favourites in the J.League because some old guys in an izakaya in Kyoto gave me free whisky and beer and told me they were good; plus they wear a rather fetching purple strip. Needless to say, a striker would be a pretty handy addition to the team, so I hope he's decent and Adelaide can lure him with the sort of incentives that he couldn't get at a Japanese club, like pie floaters and a laissez-faire attitude to work.

According to MTT82 on the AdelaideReds forum,

His coach Hisashi Kato refused to play him in summer because he said that Tahara
was addicted to sugary drinks (like Powerade) and he could only get one half of
football out of him. No joke.

That leaves me feeling quite optimistic. Powerade has certainly been known to give people the Energy Edge TM . And a half of football is still a half of football more than we have really ever managed to get out of Ago this season.

Oh, and Adelaide's CWC matches will be shown live on SBS - how good is that? Waitakere on Thursday night should be awesome... Adelaide have a taste for Kiwi blood. Game on mofos.

Adelaide 6-1 Wellington

Hoo-ah! Goals thanks to JayFCAK47

This game was supposed to be a stern test for Adelaide. The Boots were the A-League's in-form side, coming off a 2-1 win over Melbourne last weekend. Their attack, featuring the league's most lethal goal poacher in Shane Smeltz, and Fred, the hero of Victory's Championship-winning season, were expected to wreak a certain amount of havoc against United, who struggled for a draw against the Jets last week. United was also without the ever-dependable Costanzo in defense, with a certain Mr Flakes taking the Angry Ponytail's spot at centre back.

As the title of this post suggests, it didn't exactly pan out that way. The crowd in the north end were in good spirits at the start of the match, waving an inflatable sheep around and singing some amusing, mainly sheep-oriented, songs: 'Dirty deeds, DONE WITH SHEEP!' was one of the tamer ones. 'We're Going To Win Sux-Nil' also got a work out - at that stage, nobody could have guessed how close that prediction would be.

The game actually started off pretty evenly, with the Nux launching some enterprising attacks via Fred, Smeltz and Leo Bertos. It wasn't long though before United's defense got the measure of the visitors though, with Ognenovski winning every ball that came near and Jamieson and Mullen turning defense into attack beautifully on the wings.

The first goal came from a corner that pinged around the box for a while before the Ogmonster swung a leg at the ball and bludgeoned it into the back of the net. Third goal in three games for the big Maco. Charlie 'Cristiano' Runkle added a second when his big bald Brazilian scone steered a lovely Reid corner into the net. Half time and Adelaide was looking pretty good for the win.

After the break the Nux looked to have regrouped a little, and they were rewarded when Fred poked home after a goalmouth scramble. 2-1 and Ricki Herbert sent the message: "That's enough football for tonight boys, now let's just run around the pitch thinking about what we'll do for the rest of the weekend. How about we go to Crazy Horse after the match, bourbons on me."

Cassio then did to sub keeper Glen Moss what any self-respecting NZ farmer would have done when encountering a frightened sheep stuck between two posts: scored. A beautiful left foot pile driver from an acute angle. Then, just in case anyone missed it, he did it again. Pretty much exactly the same goal, from the same spot, into the same corner of the net, leaving Moss wondering how much razor blades retail for in $AUD. 4-1 to AUFC at this point. It may have been somewhere around this point that Ferrante smacked the crossbar for Welly with a sweet curling shot from outside the box - points for style, no goal.

Adelaide's fifth goal came from Runkle again, when Cassio attempted what would have been the greatest hat-trick in the history of the world by trying to beat Moss again with a strike identical to his previous two. This time he didn't hit it as sweetly, Moss got a hand to it and knocked it into Cristiano's path.

Viddie brought Sarkies on, in the knowledge that the boy can generally only score when his team is up five goals at the end of a match, but he did pretty much zilch except blow a free kick into the stands. Into extra time and Dodd put a cherry on top of the match with a sixth goal, which came as a result of some hilarious Wellington 'defending' (i.e. pass back to the attacking player).

Party time in the stands. All in all it was a stirling performance for most of the team. Barbiero and Mullen, who haven't exactly been regulars, were outstanding, and Jammo/Cassio owned the left side as usual.

Great match and a good send off for the Club World Cup next week.

Where's the crowds at?

There's a lot being said at the moment about A-League crowds. More specifically, about the fact that they are shrinking. It's true: attendences have slipped throughout the league this season, as this table (sourced from that fine research tool, Wikipedia) can attest:

Average attendance of A-League games excluding finals

After the giddy heights of last season, every single club has experienced a downturn in home crowds. True, attendances usually pick up at the business end of the season, but even so numbers are sitting lower at this point of the year than usual. So, what's the reason for the apparent drop in interest?

• The standard of football is dropping.

Bollocks, it's much better now than it was when the A-League started. No more New Zealand Knights, for a start. Perhaps it's not quite Barcelona v Arsenal just yet, but it's only been a few years. Patience, my children.

• Boring tactics.

This I agree with, partly. With only 8 sides, the same teams play each other three times a year, plus pre-season and finals matches. Teams know each other inside out, and the short season gives coaches little incentive to tinker with formations and tactics.

• Over-control by the FFA.

The FFA have done great things for football in Australia, no question. But, while the highly centralised approach they have taken to the management of A-League clubs is exactly what was needed at the start of the league, it's actually becoming counter-productive to ongoing growth.

The FFA need to relinquish some control to the clubs themselves and allow them to build their own identities organically. Fans want their clubs to have some character; we want to feel like we are part of something that represents us, rather than being a 'target demographic' for a cookie cutter franchise.

One part of this is allowing clubs to take control of their own image with regard to advertising, kit design, merchandise, website design, and so on. It's also important that clubs have more say over dealings with their own supporters, rather than the FFA attempting to implement a one size fits all approach, as is the case with the ill-conceived 'Home End Membership' system.

Oh, and don't get me started on those awful phony CGI ads. The robots were better, and that's saying something. 90 minutes, 90 crappy mocked-up crowd scenes.

• Crap refereeing.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: the refereeing in this league could certainly improve, but show me a league where this is not the case. I think it's not too bad, on the whole. Who'd be a ref.

There's a whole host of other issues I could touch on: the global economic downturn, ongoing lack of free to air TV coverage (although Fox Sports ratings are up for the league), dire form of Sydney FC, Queensland Roar's Suncorp curse, World Cup-mania drying up, retirement of Richie Alagich, et cetera - there is no single reason for the drop-off in crowds this year.

Basically, the A-League is going through the same flat spell that other start-up leagues like the J.League and MLS have gone through after their first few years, before continuing on their upward trajectory. Football is very well positioned in Australia, and the introduction of North Queensland and Gold Coast next season, and two further teams the season after, will counteract some of the apparent staleness that has crept into the league. The future's still looking good.

Newcastle 1-1 Adelaide

Well I missed watching this one, but it really doesn't sound like I missed much aside from some comical defending from The Angry Ponytail, timid Vidmar tactics and a whole lot of thrusting without much penetration. Ooh er. Ognenovski rescued the team for the second time in 2 weeks. Who needs strikers anyway.